Category Archives: Politics

It’s Just One of Those Days…

Well folks, it looks like we’ve come full circle.  Rage and shame stemming from disasterous Bush II era leadership and policy led to the Obama election a couple of years ago.  Our first black president, the first step to a post-racial America.  The promise of “change” and progression in society.  We’d repair our diplomatic image and regain international respect.  We would reverse course on our economic philosophy by no longer favoring the rich or the massively incorporated.  We cast our gaze on the horizon and saw imminent “hope.”  Yes we can!

Turns out all we can do is be angry.  It’s America’s new pastime.  Fred Durst is our poet laureate:  “Everything is fucked/Everybody sucks.”  Remember the inauguration?  Throngs of people across the country, taking to the streets under an umbrella of unity and positivity, crying and hugging total strangers because a certain spirit had been recaptured–the metaphorical light at the end of the tunnel.  Well, swap that now with pure vitriol.  White, middle- to upper-middle-class Christians seething with manufactured anger at the nebulous and ever-lasting right-wing gripe “big government” and “wasteful spending,” which apparently Obama managed to put together in 22 months.  Certainly none of this anger is inspired by racism!  (Would it kill one of these motherfuckers to use some block lettering or stencils or something other than their inbred chicken scratch?  Me write pretty one day!)

I am stunned daily at the extent to which large groups of American citizens have developed an unbridled rage at the exact problems George W. Bush created over eight years.  I can’t help but scoff anytime I hear a rationalization of this anger.  Bush slashed government revenue, spent insane amounts of money in an unjustified war (although don’t tell that to the untold numbers who still believe, even when it requires some self-delusion, that Saddam Hussein orchestrated the World Trade Center attacks), and stalked his citizenry with illegal wiretapping and even library monitoring.  Where was the outrage then?  If this fringe movement really has any semblance of principle, they should have formed a good 8 years ago.  But why, when you got a white-as-hell good ole boy in office, a guy you wanna drink beer with?  I hereby nominate my alcoholic Uncle Lenny for President.

Somehow a sqaudron of the least intellectual political leaders in history–Sarah Palin and her Pied Pipettes Mama Grizzlies, paternally coddled hangers-on like Rand Paul and Ben Quayle (thanks, Dad!), and weepy no-mongers like John Boehner (who has already conveniently set his party up for two more years of “No”)–have instructed a brainless, insecure populace to reload and unleash waves of ignorant white noise over a non-plussed voting population.  Even when it’s difficult to determine which specific policy initiative set everyone off, they’re MAD AS HELL and can’t take it anymore, and now the House is in their hands.  Meanwhile, weakling Democrats are left shrugging their shoulders and agreeing that, well, Obama isn’t that great.  If the Obama election was one giant liberal orgasm, we’re smack in the middle of a four-year refractory period.  Half the country is still lazing in bed smoking a cigarette–aw, c’mon baby, I’m tired, that was sooooo good–and the other half is raving around the bedroom, furious that they paid for dinner and the movie tickets.

As a liberal myself (didja figure that out yet), I’m left asking, “What the hell happened?  What exactly did he do?”  Well, you can look for yourself here (link courtesy of Jason Mikula–hi Jason–so check out his blog).  Ending predatory lending practices, increasing funding to fight violence against women, expanding insurance for children and the poor, removing restrictions to student financial aid.  What an asshole!  These are the policies the Ignorami (our modern version of the Illuminati) reject and abhor–but do they warrant comparisons to Hitler (not to mention Karl Marx, Satan, and that creepy child molester-looking guy on the third floor–oh, no, wait, that’s just Brad Childress)?  Are we in the fucking Twilight Zone?  And when will these people realize you cannot be a facsist and a socialist at the same time?

From my perspective, Obama had a mandate (as much as any national election represents any sort of right to make sweeping change–that itself is debatable) after November 2008 for more liberal politices.  He should have immediately closed Gitmo, repealed DADT, rescinded the tax cuts for the wealthy, and demanded a public option.  But our political spectrum is so skewed–liberals are really toward the center here, and conservatives are damn near Puritan–that any slip away from the fictional middle sparks the hyperbole.  He’s tyrannical, he’s a Marxist, etc.  (This little gem might be the most laughable piece of absurdity yet.  As much as I wish I lived in Arizona, holy hell, am I glad I don’t live in Arizona.  Ever heard of Richard Nixon, you idiot fuck?  Or YOUR DAD?  I guess that’s how he has a keen sense of what is the worst; the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.  And yes, I AM GOING TO CALL YOU A CLOSET HOMO, HOMO!  Here’s the second part of that ad.)

Where is the liberal rage?  I’m furious about the direction in which MY country is going.  I for one love things like desegregation, affordable health care, reproductive rights for women (I love it when old white men tell women what to do with their uteri).  When will a chunk of the population stand, with legible, grammatically correct picket signs, and express their fury?  It sure as hell didn’t happen in this election.  Maybe we have to wait until 2012, when Vladmir Putin Sarah Palin rears her ugly head, and we’re faced with a serious decision about leaving the country.  I don’t know what else could mobilize the left.

It will be a few months before we feel the full effect of these elections.  I expect the next few legislative months to be lame (duck) as hell.  We live in a 24-hour campaign cycle, and even though a good chunk of House Dems have lost their seats, surely they’re already thinking about 2012.  So we’ll see more bland, unimpactful and superfluous legislation that, while in essence accomplishes nothing, will somehow piss some sect of the political spectrum off.  Then the new GOPers will take their seats, and Congress will accomplish absolutely nothing.  Good luck with all that, Barry.

Sigh.  Politics.  It’s all about the he-said she-said bullshit.


“I’m Sorry for Making You Stomp on My Head.”

I…I don’t know what is real anymore.  Please read this, and explain America to me, if you can.

Juan Williams and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Muslims Remark

I’m sure you’ve all heard now about Juan Williams and his thoughts on the ideal airline passenger.  As we all could (should) have predicted, his fearmongering remarks were immediately rewarded by Fox News, to the tune of $2.0 million.  I guess I’m thankful to know the running rate for bigotry.  How much money could I make if I wore a headscarf in an airport, holding a sign that says “God hates fags” in a faux-Middle Eastern accent, with a picture of Obama with a Hitler mustache?  Hey, gotta protect those first amendment rights!

Which is exactly what forgotten right-wing nutjob (there are so many these days, you really gotta go off the deep end to stand out) Eric Cantor is out to do.  I discovered when I woke up this morning that he is pledging a full-on assault on the federal NPR funding process.  Because, you know, Americans have been wronged, I guess.

It looks like Eric Cantor has graduated from the Dr. Laura School of Constitutional Law.  You’ll remember that after she was canned for her cogent social analysis racist tirade, she began a media crusade decrying “censorship” and claiming she just “wants her First Amendment rights back.”  Sarah Palin came to her defense, of course, because if someone is spewing offensive bigotry, Sarah Palin is THERE.  Palin, herself the victim of cruel gotcha journalism (“Why didn’t anyone tell me she’d ask about newspapers?!?!”) and other forms of media oppression, seemed to spark this recent spate of wrongheaded constitutional analysis.

[Can we just talk a second about how a grown woman runs around using the phrase “lamestream media”?  And people still somehow take her seriously–nay, are fighting to elect her president one day?  Not that I understand or sympathize with the Bush II-era anti-intellectual bent, but this has to be a new low.  I guess Jon Stewart is a “dumbface” and NPR really is National Poopy Radio.]

The most troubling aspect of the Right’s embrace of any type of offensive speech is two-fold.  First, no one seems to consider the consequences of any remark made.  “So I said n—– 27 times on air.  Black people say it all the time!  I’m just trying to keep it real with my peeps, yo.  What’s the problem?”  (Yes, that is the best way for you to connect to your white, middle-aged housewife, Laura.)  Secondly, they respond to these consequences not with an apology or genuine contriteness–no, they claim an assault on their rights!

Insane.  Did Dr. Laura get arrested after she ran off at the mouth?  Was Juan Williams detained for getting the willies around brown people?  (Uh, Juan?)  If only.  Think about how many life sentences Rush Limbaugh would have right now.  But this right/Tea Party shift to consequence-free action has reached a crisis point.  They’re equating consequence with government oppression. You mean I can’t run anywhere I want with my gun?  Oppression!  I can’t reveal to the world Barack Obama’s deep hatred for babies and kittens?  Censorship!

I’d say in the cases of Juan Williams and Dr. Laura, however, we saw perfect examples of the market correcting itself.

God Bless Delaware

Saw this on Gawker today.  My mind is simply blown.

I don’t really have anything to add.  Defend that Constitution, Christine!

B-b-but Some of My Best Friends Are […]!!!

Carl Paladino spoke to some Orthodox Jews on Sunday (LOVE the way he pronounces “perVERTs”) about how much gays suck–oh wait, I don’t want to misquote him.  They’re totally awesome, except for that part where homosexuality is not a “valid option.”  (Remember that, kids, when you go to the sexuality ATM and try to enter the GAY code–the computer will tell you that is NOT A VALID OPTION.  It may, however, produce a suitable alternative.)

I’m having real trouble figuring out Carl Paladino.  To whom is he appealing?  Perhaps he has already ruled out the New York City vote–he could probably make money rain from the sky and still get only 20 percent.  So his strategy, I guess, is to appeal to the far religious right in rural areas.  Oh, and Orthodox Jews.  Whatever.  The Christian Science Monitor correctly points out that his comments couldn’t come at a worse time, considering the growing number of prominent gay teen suicides across the country.

This development is emblematic of the far right’s despicable attempts to straddle a line of hatred and “tolerance.”  Is Paladino really fooling anyone when he notes, as have so many bigoted conservatives, that he has a gay [sister/nephew/staffer/best friend]?  Or that he’d hire them?  Remember, he doesn’t hate gays, he just hates their ability to do things anyone else does.  Why stop at marriage?  How about communion?  The bar mitzvah?  They can’t adjudicate in a court of law, either–their sexual savagery will overwhelm their ability to make coherent decisions!

I don’t know where to lay the blame.  Hardcore partisanship?  I mean, even Dick freaking Cheney is at least kinda OK with it.  (Here I love the phrase “pro-family.”  Gays hate relatives!)  Personal discomfort?  To be fair, Carl Paladino comes across as the type of guy that hates a lot of people.  THE LAMESTREAM MEDIA?  (Ugh.)

I just wish these crazy assholes would have the guts to own their hate.  If you don’t support equal rights for gays, you don’t support gays.

As dreadful as our sexual politics are now, I can only assume that, eventually, equal rights will be a reality.  Simply because there always have been and there always will be gays in the world.  Why is this so hard to understand?

When I Say Alvin, You Say Greene!

More brilliance from our favorite congressional candidate.