I don’t miss much about Indianapolis, but I do remember the days of sitting at the Qdoba near IUPUI, chowing down on a giant plate of nachos (chicken, with pinto beans, hot salsa, sour cream, cheese, and a little bit of rice, please) and reading a NUVO Newsweekly (think the Indy version of the Chicago Reader). To my memory, it is the only prominent news outlet for local artists and musicians, while incorporating investigative reporting from a left-leaning perspective–something otherwise tough to find in a blue-collar, NASCAR-lovin’, beer-swillin’ hotbed of ‘Publicanism†.
As a tribute to NUVO, here is my take on a staple of theirs: haiku news.
Cranky electors/Vote out the incumbents but/Can’t remember why
Olbermann donates/MSNBC makes clear/”We are not Fox News!”
LBJ debuts/Fans watch games, then normalcy/NBA ignored
Colbert and Stewart/Rally thousands to fight fear/And earn blame from Dems
Mark earns victory/Alexi salutes with beer/Barack licks his wounds
Fifteen scores, two picks/Peyton shows that Father Time/Is a deadbeat dad
“Saw 7” premieres/Whose fate is worse: slaughtered cast/Or tasteful film fan
Cans of Four Loko/Next scare on college campus/Red Bull still legal
†Update: My friend Neil (hi Neil) asked me an excellent question on facebook: “wuts rong with beer swillin’?” While I’m assuming a tongue-in-cheekness with the spelling and all, I must clarify: there is nothing wrong with beer swillin’. I love swillin’ beer. I swilled a beer tonight. (If High Life counts.) I mean no disrespect to those who swill beer–nay, I invite everyone to swill a beer. To beer swillin’!
On a (barely) more serious note, I don’t want to come across as one of those jerks that moves off to The Big City™ and suddenly washes himself of the people and place from whence he came. My family still lives in Indy, as do many of my closest friends. I value a lot of relationships I made there to this day, and am proud of the work I did with former students and my old high school. And, of course, the pride of the city, the Colts. I think most of my readers understand the balance of affection and immense frustration with the city/state and share my views.
So go beer, go Horse, go…Pacers? Do we still have the Pacers?